Big Brother Doesn't Care About You

Not all conspiracy theories are looney.  Like the “global warming is a fraud,”  Most, however, are the imaginations of people with more time than sense.  Like the “Nazi moon base,” “Kentucky Fried Chicken makes black men impotent” and “barcodes are intended to control people.”  Yep, those are real conspiracy theories and, like most, are meant to scare people.

Among the ominous things government is purported to do, is the idea – floated for years – that the National Security Agency (NSA) listens to everyone’s phone calls and collects all emails.

Like a Barack Obama campaign speech, these theses are feces.

First of all, this concept counts on NSA violating an inbox full of laws.  No matter what some may think, that doesn’t happen.  There are very strict – VERY STRICT – procedures in place and enforced to prevent illegal actions.  The sanctity of the Fourth Amendment is paramount at NSA. It is drilled into every employee from the first day on the job and repeatedly thereafter.  NSAers are required to review legal procedures and protocols every year and reminders of the agency’s commitment to the law from the Director and other leaders are routine.

The law is not a cavalier concept nor is it paid lip service at the National Security Agency.  But that assertion will not convince the conspiracy-minded or those with political or nefarious agendas.

So let’s look at this idea logically – something else foreign to the theorists.

There are over 5 billion mobile phone subscriptions worldwide.  That’s equivalent to 77% of the world population and up 15% from 2009.

It’s estimated that there were over 900 billion cell phone calls made just in the United States last year.  And not all of these are real conversations.  What about butt dialing, late night drunk calls, harassing (ring and hang up), dropped calls, voice mail retrieval and just checking in?

Consider, too, what people are doing on these phones in addition to making voice calls.  They’re texting, conducting banking, searching the web, making point-of-service payments (I use mine at Starbucks), navigating via GPS, playing online games, watching movies and TV, checking sports scores, sending and receiving video, Tweeting and Facebooking.

More than 6.1 trillion text messages were sent in 2010

And we’re not talking about just adults. Kids as young as 10 have their own cell phones.

And then there is email.  Best estimates are that 90 trillion emails were sent in 2010.  That’s 294 billion per day; 2.8 million every second.

And here’s the kicker; 80-90% of those were spam and viruses.

There are nearly 2 billion legitimate email users and 3 billion email accounts worldwide,  more than one in every five persons on the earth.  Of these 730 million were business email accounts.

The point to all this arithmetic is that the mass of information through which the National Security Agency must sift in pursuit of real bad guys is so astronomical that collecting all email and listening to all phone calls is more than just illegal, it’s not possible, efficient, smart or worthwhile.  Even a fraction of it poses a huge burden of search and discovery.

The numbers cited above are estimates that are, most likely, low, but they are only going to get larger.  If you or any of the “big brother” conspiracy advocates want to believe that NSA is listening in on you when there are far greater people and elements of concern, then I recommend a good anti-psychotic.

Face it, NSA just isn’t that into you.


2 thoughts on “Big Brother Doesn't Care About You

  1. An inside man declaring himself a terrorist!

    Why did I write that piece?

    I don’t know, should I worry? If they looked,
    do you think they considered the context?
    They might think it was a ploy and that they had
    better not take any chances.

    Better double up on the dosage tonight and
    get some sleep. Also balance an empty beer
    bottle on the inside door handle.

    This whole thing could turn out … my mind is playing
    tricks again … what’s the worst that could happen?


  2. I think you may have struck a chord here! We could hire all the unemployed to monitor all these calls, tweets, emails, etc and end the unemployment problem.

    I have often asked these Big Brother theorists who they were watching, one blank look later I have had to explain that for everyone being watched there would have to be a watcher. A few actually understood.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s